In the history of mankind there have been
many great two-somes, duos, duets and partnerships - they are the
things we can rely on to go hand and hand. How could we eat Oreos
without milk? What would peanut butter be without jelly? When would
we rock if we had Guns but no Roses? Where would Roscoe be without
Chicken and Waffles? Who would Tinnelle be without her Captain? But
the most important question of all might be - Why would we play
softball without beer?
And yet that is the decision the Knox County Commission came to
this week regarding the upcoming Air National Guard softball
tournament. Theorizing the sale of beer would be a major boost to
revenues of the national invitational event (HELLO!), Lt. Col. Don
Johnson asked the Knox County Beer Board for a temporary permit to sell
beer. Before a decision could be reached, however, hundreds of phone
calls came flooding in demanding that the permit be denied.
But why? Why such a heinous decision? I’m quite sure many of the
players attending have never even played a game without beer. In
fact, they may be much worse without drinking it. It could be
pandemonium: nobodies defeating favorites, benchwarmers becoming
heroes, people talking out issues, using good judgement. What gives?
It appears that right across the street from the ball fields there
is a Baptist Church. Seeing as how the event does take place on a
Sunday, members of the church were a little concerned about coming out
of mass on Sunday to find some less than pious out-of-towners camping
out in their backyard. Although personally I would have liked to see
the 800 members of the church take a Sunday off to observe the miracle
that is softball, I have to lean to their side of the debate.
For those of you who have signed up for the event and are planning
to make a road trip of it, don’t lose hope just yet. One of the
fields involved in the tournament will be serving! Half of the games
will be played at Caswell Park in East Knoxville, an area
pre-designated by the city to have a beer permit. Should make for an
interesting show down between the teams that have been drinking all day
and those who have been forced into sobriety.