Finally - the World’s Coldest Beer

Poor Best  

During my many years as a tavern-keeper, when a customer came into my pub and asked for the “coldest beer in the place…how ’bout that bottle frozen to the coils in the bottle box?”, my reaction was one of thinly-veiled condescension.

“Sir, we sell only draft beers, which are served at temperatures befitting them…at least 40º,” I would reply, only letting the tiniest itsy-bit of beer snob scorn show.

But I’ve got good news for all those guys whose egos I surely must have bruised over the years. The Coors Company finally listened to you, and has just unveiled a brew called Coors Sub Zero. Two things about this are surprising. One is that it took a major brewer so long to develop a beer like this, and the second is even more surprising: it was developed in the UK, famous for its tradition of warm beer.

It required over 8 years and 50 patents to get it right, and also $18 million. Conceptualizing that much money may be difficult, so picture this: it’s happy hour and your local pub is selling beer for $5 a pitcher. Now imagine drinking 3.6 million pitchers of beer between 4 PM and 7 PM. Total cost—$18 million, plus a $2.4 million tip to the bartender. That’s a little easier to grasp, isn’t it?

And Coors is not just kidding around…this stuff is going to be cold, and somehow it remains liquid throughout the entire process. It’s held in special tanks at 23º, and after being drawn through its serving apparatus it’ll come out at 28º—4 degrees BELOW freezing. A special turntable is used to spin the serving glass and spray it with cold water, bringing its temperature down to about 41º. The brew takes about 20 seconds to pour, then it’s hit with a sonic pulse, creating bubbles which form large ice crystals. Voila!—the coldest beer in the world you don’t have to eat with a spoon.

So that’s the good news. The bad news: you’ll have to go to Canada to try it. But go ahead. It’ll cost you a lot less than $18 million.