...walks into a bar

[TAPMAN]

Two men walked into a bar, The other man ducked.

[Woodsy Pete]

A woman walks into a bar with a duck under her arm and sits down. The guy beside her says "is that your pig", she says "he's a duck you idiot", he says "I was talking to the duck."

[Jenna123]

Ha Ha that was a good one and I will have to remember that one for later.

[TAPMAN]

Did you hear about the agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac? He would stay up all night wondering if there really was a dog.

[jlopez77]

A mushroom walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. The bartenders says we don't serve your kind. The mushroom says why not, I'm a fun guy!

[Scott Zuhse]

You must be referring to 'Johnny's". That may be possible!

[cubby_swans]

A dyslexic man walks into a bra....

[cubby_swans]

Bacon and Eggs walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast."

[Scott Zuhse]

A man walks into a bar and sits down next to a lady and a dog. The man asks, "Does your dog bite?". The lady answers, "Never!" the man reaches out to pet the dog and the dog bites him. The man says, "I though you said your dog doesn't bite!". The woman replies, "He doesn't! This isn't my dog."

[cubby_swans]

A skeleton walks into a bar, and says "I'll have a beer and a mop."

[TAPMAN]

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "Why the long face?''

A grasshopper walks into a bar. Bartender says" hey, we have a drink named after you." Grasshopper says " You have a drink named Mike?"

[THE ICEMAN]

Humor is a difficult concept.

[doug ellis]

Knew a great little 2 man band in Ft. Lauderdale a few years back
(Frayed Knots) their moto, make all the requests you want, our answer frayed knot.

[Sammy1759]

I like that!

[cubby_swans]

A string walks into a bar, hops on the bar stool, and says, "Bartender, gimme a beer." The bartender says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve strings here." Disappointed, the string hops down from the stool and goes to the next bar. He hops on the bar stool and says, again, "Bartender, gimme a beer." The bartender says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve strings here." The string continues down the row of bars in this fashion. At every bar, he hops on the barstool and says, "Bartender, gimme a beer." Each time, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve strings here." Finally he gets to the last bar in the area. He's tired, he's sweaty, all he wants is a beer. He trudges inside, climbs on the barstool, and says, "Bartender, gimme a beer." The bartender says, "I'm sorry, sir, we don't serve strings here." Pissed off, the string walks outside to think. He's a hard-working string. He deserves a beer. Finally, he comes up with an idea. He twists himself up and musses up his hair, then heads back into the bar. "Bartender, gimme a beer!" Bartender says, "Hey, aren't you that string that was in here a few minutes ago?" The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."