Those of us with kids of a certain age have been going to children’s birthday parties for years. We’re often forced to jar joints and tear tendons in an infernal contraption called a ‘bouncer’. This bouncer is not a security guard hired to maintain order, but rather a really really giant balloon shaped like a castle or a dinosaur—or some such entity of children’s fantasies—firmly anchored to the ground with an opening for entry to an internal jumping chamber large enough to entertain a herd of cattle.

This big inflated rubber platform looks like a the hugest version of a parent’s bed these imps have ever jumped on. The kids who jump are made of rubber, like the bouncer itself. We dads, stiff with age and experience, don’t bend the way they do, but are honor-bound to heed their call to join in the ‘fun’.

Finally, finally, finally rescue is at hand. The Airquee company has begun offering something inflatable for us…the amazing Airquee inflatable pub!

It’s 40 feet long, 19 feet wide, and 22 feet high, taking ten minutes to erect and holding 30 frazzled parents. It looks like a cute little slanty-walled country pub made of stone, with a red tile roof, a fireplace, and pictures on the walls. It’s even OK to play darts, although I assume you’d better have a really big dartboard or very dull darts.

It’s just the thing for us tired dads, especially since, unlike the bouncer, you only have to bend at the elbow. Also unlike the bouncer, falling down is frowned on.

Amazingly, covering all bases, they also make an inflatable church.