Looks like everybody’s favorite department
of the U.S. Government got caught with their hand in the cookie jar
- or more appropriately - with their mouth under the beer tap. A
small spike in the use of government purchasing cards issued to
employees of the Department of Homeland Security was cause for an
investigation by the panel of Senators that oversees the department.
Just what was the small spike, you ask? Oh just a mere $135
million. Part of that $135 million was due to the purchase of iPods,
dog booties, a dozen or so boats and equipment for drafting beer.
Here’s a detailed list, highlighting the purchases:
- More than 2,000 sets of dog booties. They have been sitting in
storage, unused, since emergency responders decided they were not
suited for canines assisting in Gulf Coast recovery efforts. Total:
$68,442
- 12 Apple iPod Nanos and 42 iPod Shuffles that were to be used for
Secret Service “training and data storage.” According to Secret
Service officials any items worth less than $300 do not need to be
tracked. Total: $7,000
-37 black Helly Hansen designer rain jackets for use in a firing
range used by Customs and Border Protection Agency. This is not
such a bad price except, the purchaser later acknowledged the firing
range shuts down when it’s raining. Oops. Total: $2,500
-And then there’s the poor Federal Emergency Management Agency.
Unfortunately they’ve lost 107 laptops, 22 printers and two GPS units
worth $170,000. FEMA also cannot find 12 of 20 boats the agency bought
for $208,000. Total: $378,000
-A beer brewing kit and ingredients for a Coast Guard official to
brew alcohol while on duty as a social organizer for the U.S. Coast
Guard Academy. Total: $1,000
I think the real victim here is not the tax payers of the United
States. Although we have been robbed by the government we trust, we
are still not the ones hurt most by this scandal. The ones hurt the
most by the scandal - the U.S. Coast Guard. Think about it, they were
just hanging out in their helicopters and yellow boats drinking some
nice home brews. They didn’t think they were hurting anybody. Then
all of a sudden, they get lumped in with government agency types who
rock out to their iPods, tucked into designer raincoats, while wearing
dog shoes, on stolen FEMA boats. That’s low.