Reason #198,893,454,231 To Drink Beer
While much of the health, fitness and wellness industries are stressing that we should all drink less alcohol (with beer being one of their main targets) real, concrete evidence of the life saving properties of beer-bellies is on the rise. Sure, we should all get to the gym more often to work off our unsightly middle sections. Perhaps we could spend a little less time enjoying brews with our buddies while watching the big game Of course we all know that water is more healthy than Budweisers, Newcastles, Coronas and other brews. But by goodness, we’re not stopping!
That’s because that spare tire you’re wearing above your beltline might just save your life. While fitness instructors, dieticians and other so-called “experts” are preaching that we lose our guts or risk an early death, beer bellies are actually saving lives. That’s right, while scientiests “theorize” the damaging effects of excess bulge, one beer belly said “No!” One beer belly had the courage to stand up to The Man and risk it all to save the human to whom it is attached.
Andrew Creed, a truck driver in the United Kingdom, was saved from certain death by his long-term relationship with beer. While driving his route, his truck was attacked by a hijacker. Creed was pushed out of the vehicle by his assailant, but managed to hang on to the door for a short ways. When the hijacker began swerving the vehicle to dislodge its former driver Creed lost his grip. He fell under the truck and watched as the wheels began to run over him.
Creed thought he was dead for certain, as any non-beer drinking man would have been. But this was a beer drinking man, and all those suds he’d sunk into his gut were about to pay off. After the 18-wheeler rolled over his body Creed stood up shocked to still be alive. He suffered only two broken fingers and minor bruising thanks in large part to his large beer belly. Doctors are calling it a miracle, I’m calling it a job well done.
So when someone takes a look at your gut and shoots you a “Seriously, lay off the Budweisers” look, you just remember old Andrew Creed and the beer belly that saved his life. So a toast to Mr. Creed, but more importantly a toast to the beer-belly. For without this wonderful sack of flesh, this world would be one truck driver short.
Cheers!










February 27th, 2007 at 11:24 am
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