America's ingenuity and inventiveness have placed it atop the world for almost two centuries. Many great thinkers and inventors have come here to imbibe our air of creativity. And now, as most of you know, people around the world are coming here to imbibe our beer. Well, imbibe this, baby.

Our proudest moment may have just arrived. Americans are very, very good at putting foods on sticks and eating them. Corn dogs are an excellent example, as are ice cream bars. But we've outdone ourselves this time. We've made beer popsicles! Yes, cool, refreshing beer in its ultimate form—completely frozen.

When Chef Frank Morales created these "beersicles" last month at Rustico, a restaurant and bar in Alexandria, Virginia, he thought he was surely on to something. He developed three flavors—"Raspbeer-y", made from a raspberry-based fruit beer, "Fudgesicle", made with a deeply chocolate stout, and "Plum", derived from a Belgian lambic—and created a delicious, bubbly froth of publicity that is coming to a head.

The Virginia Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control in now investigating if such a thing might even be illegal! Poor Chef Morales! People the world 'round are talking about his restaurant, laughing at him! (Did I mention the restaurant is named "Rustico" and that it's in Alexandria, Virginia?) The humiliation of this horrible publicity must surely be keeping him awake at night, tossing and turning in shame.

He's lucky in one regard, though—nothing washes away the taste of shame and humiliation like an ice cold "Plum" beersicle.